Friday, January 30, 2009

Jessica Alba's Giftwrapped Ass


That's Jessica Alba's dumb tattoo. She's in Coldwater Park with her beleaguered nanny and baby Honor Marie. Trust me, her ass is no gift. It doesn't matter WHAT tattoo you stick on it. She could have her asscheeks tattooed with wrapping paper and it would still be Return To Sender. The attitude would ruin the effect.

Alba is currently warring with Bill O'Reily and "some really classy sites (i.e.TMZ)" over her inauguration week request of a journalist to stay neutral like "Sweden." Everyone initially leapt down her throat because Switzerland is more famed for their neutrality than the Swedes. But Alba screwed up her Grouch face, ran to Wikipedia and dropped some knowledge on us drooling yokels.

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